


A Bag of Hope

by rinnenotsubasa



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 2ji hahahahaha, 96line childhood besties, Betrayal, Dealing With Loss, Fantasy, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Multi, Romance, Southeast Asian style (?), bit of description about dead bodies and torture, kingdom - Freeform, wonhao established
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2019-10-19 09:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17598860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnenotsubasa/pseuds/rinnenotsubasa
Summary: Not even once.After Junhui was pronounced dead on a mission, Soonyoung had never thought of letting go.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have this adoration towards Bhayangkara troops from reading Gajah Mada novels and so I used the name… and I got carried away and took some of the names from Sanskrit and Javanese. People’s names are a mix of Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Javanese.. .. yeah it's a mess. 
> 
> A new take on the “Dealing with Loss” tag that I love so much. 
> 
> WARNING: There’s some description of blood and dead bodies in abnormal state. Also violence and torture. Not a lot and not too graphic (imo), but just in case.

_ Let it go _ . The voices said.

It sounded like Jihoon’s, Wonwoo’s, and even Soonyoung’s own mother. It sounded like everyone, which was probably right. Soonyoung had heard a thousand version of that sentence in his waking life from almost everyone he knew. He didn’t need to hear it again in his dreams.

Soonyoung lay on his bed; not the hay bed he slept on as he grew up, but the mattress filled with down and feathers, a luxury he earned as one of the selected soldiers in the Bhayangkara troops. Not only comfy bed, the position came with a lot of benefit; high salary, social status, you name it. But what made Soonyoung happy the most was the chance to do something worthy with his life, to serve the kingdom of Buwana Tentrem and its people. He remembered the time he got the acceptance letter. He was so happy that he hugged his mom until he got hit for not letting go, and then he went next door, saw that Junhui got the same letter, hugged each other while squealing and annoyed Junhui’s parents instead.

Junhui’s bright smile from that day came filling Soonyoung’s mind, complete with the smallest details. From the dimple that graced the tanned left cheek, to the way the brown eyes squinted until they looked as small as Soonyoung’s when wide open. Soonyoung had always thought of it as the most beautiful sight he ever saw. Yes, even better than the kingdom landscape seen from the top of Mount Lawu. 

But the breathtaking image failed to bring peace to his heart. He tried to recall the sound of Junhui’s laughter to enhance the memory, but all that he heard was that voice. Those words.

_ Let it go. Let him go. _

The words evoked something inside Soonyoung. Something that made every cell in his body felt like they were protesting. His body became hot, fighting the notion like an infection. He had experienced this many times in his 25-year-old life. One of the strongest was the time a wealthy old merchant, who owned a large piece of land in Soonyoung’s village, told him that he would never be more than a field hand. That was more than 10 years ago. 

Now he felt it again with similar intensity, even more. And it definitely lasted longer this time. Not a break since the day he heard the news. It made sense, since 10 years ago he was going against a single man. This time he got the whole universe to fight.

Wen Junhui, 25, a young member of Bayu squad in Bhayangkara troop, was pronounced dead on a mission. 

Everyone had a hard time. Junhui’s squad members and superiors were stunned and mournful at the loss of one of their best soldiers. His parents were seen with traces of tears on their face that lasted for days. 

Their childhood friends weren’t doing much better either. Jihoon forced himself to work even harder as a member of the Cabinet, despite going weaker from the difficulty in eating. Wonwoo made so many mistakes in his job as Pajuragan researcher at the Darma Institute, the kingdom’s center of knowledge, that he was told to take a few days off.

Soonyoung fared better, at a glance. But a month had passed and his entire being still refused to accept the news as a fact. Although Jun’s blood (a huge amount of it) was detected among the visually unrecognizable mush of dead bodies, found on the route that the team was supposed to go through. Despite the kingdom had declared the death and carved Wen Junhui among the many names of the kingdom's heroes on the Badiran Monument. 

Here on his soft bed facing the ceiling, Soonyoung saw Junhui. His best friend was smiling, but it started to fade. Not just the smile, it's his entire image. Suddenly Soonyoung felt afraid, more than he had ever felt in life.

 

***

 

The memories came to life with each step. The four of them grew up here, and there's not an inch of this area that didn't evoke flashbacks. 

The rice field where they used to play in. Kids as young as 6 or 7, running around and competing on who collects the most swamp eels.

The shed in the middle of the field where Jihoon loved to lie on and do nothing. It belonged to the Kato family, and they let kids play there. It was hard to drag Jihoon out of there, especially after a fierce round in the game of tag. Even in his 20s, Jihoon still loved this shed. When they were back in the village and couldn't find Jihoon, they just needed to go here. Soonyoung admitted that the place had its appeal. With the floor almost a head taller than an average man, and no walls, one may enjoy the unobstructed flow of wind and soothing view of the village.

The abandoned house of the Kasogi family, which backyard used to be Wonwoo's practice ground for honing his bimantra--spell chanting--skills. The place had witnessed Wonwoo's initial journey to master the science of Pajuragan. The left side of the house, for example. You could see the part where it looked newer than the other. The group of friends worked in secret to replace the wood after Wonwoo messed up, using chilli in his sesajen bag and offered it to the wind deity in exchange of its power. The wind deity hated chilli, poor Wonwoo didn't know.

The asem tree Junhui loved to climb. The energetic boy would climb the tree at least once a day, taking the sour flavored fruit to share with his family and friends. Soonyoung used to wonder why his share always looked bigger than the others.

The start of a trail heading to the hills, one of the very limited places Soonyoung shared only with Junhui. It was a also the place where Soonyoung felt like he wanted to kiss Jun for the first time, not in the way he wanted to smooch Jihoon's cheek to annoy his friend. There were a lot of times on this hill when Soonyoung actually tried to kiss Junhui (sometimes he was convinced that Junhui wanted him to), but they always ended up just snuggling to each other and chat until one of them doze off.

Soonyoung walked on with memories coming to life in each turn, until he arrived at a small road filled with a row of houses. No one was to be seen, but Soonyoung didn’t fret. They must had been at the party. 

He was proven right when he reached the end of the road and arrived at Jihoon’s house. Even before stepping inside, Soonyoung was greeted with familiar faces, jolly calls, and friendly hugs. It’s always nice to be back, despite the gnawing hole inside him. Yes, Soonyoung tried to tell himself.

The house wasn’t big, but it took Soonyoung quite some time to get into the main room and greet Jihoon’s father, the star of today’s event. It had not been that long since Soonyoung saw him; Soonyoung always made time to go home and they had seen each other less than a year ago. And yet, there’s a notable change in the old man’s appearance, mainly the incredible amount of gray hair and deepening wrinkles around his eyes. Still, Mr. Lee Jimin was aging well for a man who just turned 60. 

Soonyoung stayed to chat with Mr. and Mrs. Lee before hitting the crowd. He spotted Jihoon and they exchanged nods, but Soonyoung couldn’t go to his friend so easily. It’s the birthday party of the former village chief, also one of the most respected elders in the area.  _ Everyone _ was here and Soonyoung couldn’t walk one step without getting stopped and chatted to. 

It was almost midnight when Soonyoung managed to escape. Mrs. Lee said she couldn’t find Jihoon and asked Soonyoung to fetch her naughty son. Soonyoung accepted of course. Besides, he’d been wanting to talk to Jihoon.

The Lee family had their own plot of rice field, and Soonyoung headed there without thinking. When there’s a rice field there’s a shed, and when there’s a shed there’s Jihoon. 

As expected, Jihoon was there, but he was not alone. Next to him was Wonwoo, and Soonyoung thought of how lucky he was. 

“I came here by the order of Queen Yena to bring Lee Jihoon for trial, with the crime of escaping his father’s party,” said Soonyoung after he finished climbing up the shed. Wonwoo snorted as he turned to see Soonyoung. Meanwhile Jihoon only chuckled without even bothering to move, his hands were straight behind him, supporting his body. There was one oil lamp between Jihoon and Wonwoo, and Soonyoung put his next to it, then sat on the other side of the shed.

Fully aware that he’s betraying his promise to Mrs. Lee, Soonyoung stayed there with his best friends, talking about nothing. It’s easy. With them, no one had to be a soldier, kingdom official, or researcher. They’re just them. It felt almost normal. 

Soonyoung would like their mindless chatting to go on forever, but he had something to say to his friends. He finally had the chance when Wonwoo mentioned about the lemon basil he got from Minghao’s parents. 

“Ten pots?” asked Soonyoung

Wonwoo chuckled. “I have no idea why. We tried to fit them at home, but five pots were the most that Minghao would accept.” He gave Soonyoung a look and Soonyoung shook his head in glee. Wonwoo’s husband was generally a tolerant person, but very particular about his house, putting a lot of effort in arranging the environment. As a good spouse, Wonwoo followed Minghao’s words faithfully. 

“You gave me one. What are you going to do with the rest,” said Jihoon. 

“I’ll find a way to deal with them, but I was thinking of bringing one to Junhui…” Wonwoo’s eyes flickered and there’s a small smile on his face. “I’ll ask Mr. and Mrs. Wen first, maybe we can plant one near his grave. The flower is pretty nice.”

Jihoon visibly tensed, like he always did when someone talked about Junhui lately. Although his voice sounded lighthearted enough. “I’m going too. Been wanting to ask them if there’s anything I can help with maintaining the grave.”

“You coming too, Soonyoung?” Jihoon was being overly cautious, it was apparent in his voice. Understandable. Soonyoung might had done his best most of the past 30 days and acted normal most of the time. However, the very first day was tough. He didn’t handle it well, even saying that he blamed Jihoon for voting Junhui’s team to go on the mission. Jihoon didn’t refute him.

Soonyoung tried to stop pain from controlling his words, and said in the most neutral tone he could manage, “No.”

Jihoon replied with a simple “Okay” and no one said a word after that. Wonwoo didn’t even try to coax Soonyoung. He had been trying to get Soonyoung visiting Junhui’s grave, with no success. It seemed that he decided not to try again today.

Soonyoung could feel it from the heat rising inside himself. He’s on his way to explode from seeing them talking about Junhui’s death with composed manner. It’s troubling that Soonyoung would rather see his two best friends in agony rather than being in peace, Soonyoung acknowledged it and reprimanded himself for that. Still, he couldn’t help it. Why were they giving up on Junhui? 

“He’s not dead,” Soonyoung said, and although there were no immediate reply, he could feel the instant change in the air among them.

It took a long time for any of them to respond. Maybe they were out of wits on how deal with him. Finally it’s Wonwoo who spoke, in the gentlest manner, “Soonyoung… I didn’t personally examine the proof, but qualified people had done it and the reports made sense.”

“He had a chance with that amount of blood.” Soonyoung focused his entire energy to controlling his voice, trying to keep the volume at conversational level. “And there’s no actual trace of his body in the—um, the evidence.”

“You shouldn’t have known that.” Jihoon’s voice was a tad sharp. Soonyoung didn’t flinch. He knew he had broken the rules by obtaining reports he’s not supposed to read, but he couldn’t care less. He’s about to break more rules anyway.

“I shouldn’t have read it too,” said Wonwoo carefully. Jihoon only gave him a glance and sighed, and so Wonwoo continued. 

“There was indeed no parts of Junhui’s body, but the—right, the  _ evidence _ …” Wonwoo was struggling and Soonyoung could understand. It’s difficult to address something as horrendous as  _ that _ . “…Seven bodies. It’s hard with our current knowledge to separate them when it’s fused like that. I was surprised that we even managed to get some identification.” 

“They didn’t find his ring.” Soonyoung pointed out another proof—justification—for his denial. The possessions of Junhui’s teammates were found around the mush of flesh, but the Wen family ring was nowhere to be found.

“The scene was near a river. Might have been washed up downstream.”

Soonyoung took a moment. The conversation wasn’t going the way he wanted and he needed to think. In the end he gave up thinking and simply said, “I’m going to find him.”

Jihoon looked at him as if he was crazy.

“And what will you say to General Irie? You’re just going to leave and let your boss kick you out when you’re back? For mere speculation?”

“Chance.” Soonyoung gritted his teeth. “Chance to save our friend.”

The two glared at each other until Wonwoo chimed in. “Well… The search team didn’t manage to look west of the river and a good part of the route because of the storm so…”

Jihoon gave the Pajuragan researcher a disappointed look and a tired “Wonwoo…”

Soonyoung looked at his two friends and said, with a sliver of hope and a bucket of desperation, “Go with me.”

Jihoon turned back to look at him and simply said. “I have duties.” His tone was firm despite his wavering eyes. Looking at that made something snapped inside Soonyoung.

“All you think of is yourself. Not Junhui who’s out there, waiting for help. You just don’t want to lose that position you love so much, not a damn about your friend.”

Even as he said those words, Soonyoung knew how wrong they were. He knew Jihoon wasn’t doing his job because of the high social status or whatever merit it had. And Jihoon certainly wasn’t a heartless man. They all knew how hard it was to live, especially in areas like their village where nature was violent and vile outsiders took most of what little they had. They all knew that and how hard it was to change it.  _ Especially  _ Jihoon who’d grown up with the man who had spent years fighting for their village. Jihoon never said it out loud, at least not in front of Soonyoung, but his best friend was determined to save them and many others all over Buwana Tentrem. He took the difficult job at the very center of the kingdom, trying to make a difference from where his actions could make bigger impact. 

“I won’t leave my job.” The sadness in Jihoon's eyes was visible under the dim light from oil lamp. 

That night Jihoon left the shed on his own. 

 

***

Soonyoung’s eyes followed the way Minghao moved. Each motion graceful yet so powerful, demanding attention from those fortunate enough to witness his dance. 

The enormous hall was filled with at least 200 people, and yet you couldn't hear any chattering. The only sound was from the bronze percussions, kendhang drums, and suling flutes, together as a gamelan ensemble producing a heart-tugging harmony. It was a beautiful companion to further enhance the magic of Minghao's dance.

Once the last note was hit and Minghao stayed still, the silent audience broke into applause. It was then when Soonyoung noticed; the muscles of the dancer's face loosening up, signalling how much tense they were before. It was an unexpected discovery. Anyone in the room would had said that Minghao showed no trace of being nervous during his brilliant performance.

Ofter bowing to the audience, Minghao looked at Soonyoung's way. Well, actually at his husband, Wonwoo, who was standing next to Soonyoung. The dancer took one step forward but was soon stopped by a group of people. Soonyoung saw him bowing and smiling to them. It seemed that Minghao was going to be occupied for a while.

Turning to Minghao's husband, Soonyoung asked the question he's been dying to ask all day. 

"How did you get Minghao to agree?"

After Wonwoo wrote to him this morning that he’s coming with Soonyoung on his search and rescue mission tomorrow, Soonyoung couldn't help but wonder.

"’I, uh… I didn't," answered Wonwoo without really meeting his friend's eyes.

"What?"

"I haven't told him."

Soonyoung couldn't hide the disbelief in his voice. "Huh??"

"It's a big night for him. I didn't want to give any distraction," said Wonwoo in defense. His voice was not convincing though.

Soonyoung was about to nag his best friend when he saw Minghao leaving a group of his admirers and walking towards them. He congratulated Minghao for his performance and was given a jolly "thank you" and a big smile. 

"You were amazing," said Wonwoo to his husband with voice full of endearment. This time Minghao's "thank you" was timid, but not less sincere. The couple looked at each other as if there was no one else in the room, their eyes screaming with adoration. It was adorable but borderline sappy for Soonyoung.

It would had been better if the couple had just made out right there right then. At least Soonyoung would had a legitimate reason to scold them. But Wonwoo and Minghao were not public with their affection.

Soonyoung averted his eyes from the couple and caught a bunch of giggling women and curious-looking men. The WonHao enthusiasts. Their number was quite big, as Wonwoo and Minghao was one of the most adored pair in the kingdom. The calm Pajuragan researcher in the prestigious Darma Institute, with the passionate dancer who's talented and famous enough to perform in royal events. Each had their own unique handsomeness and equally cute smiles. They getting together (and eventually married) was a celebration for the people.

"Where's Jihoon?” Minghao's question brought Soonyoung's gaze back to the couple. 

"You know. Lots of important folks to talk to.” It was an event with many important guests and as an official, Jihoon must act as a proper host.

Minghao must had caught the stiffness in Soonyoung’s voice, but said nothing. Soonyoung was grateful for that. He hadn't talked to Jihoon in 2 weeks and wasn't planning on doing it soon. A voice in his head told him that he was being ridiculously stubborn and that he should say a word before leaving the town with Wonwoo tomorrow night. But it was hopeless. Soonyoung's mother often wondered how did he get such stubborn trait when both of his parents had laidback personality. 

The rest of the gala was a blur for Soonyoung. He had quite some drinks and woke up after noon the next day. He had prepared everything beforehand and he couldn't wait for night to come.

It was just after the sun set and the sky turned dark. When he arrived at the designated place, Wonwoo was already there. The Pajuragan researcher stood hand in hand with his husband. They greeted Soonyoung and, thankfully, Minghao didn't say anything to blame Soonyoung for roping his husband on this secret (and most probably dangerous) rescue mission. The dancer's smile at him was a bit sour, but that's it. Soonyoung was grateful for the mercy.  

There's another thing that Soonyoung noticed. At a glance, the couple didn't seem any different than usual. But anyone who knew them would knew that the couple was so private, they normally didn't hold hands in public. This was not normal.

Things got even more abnormal after they finished attaching their belongings to their horses. Wonwoo, right in front of his best friend, said to his husband, "Give me a kiss?”

Minghao rolled his eyes but said, "Fine."

Soonyoung cringed as Wonwoo leaned forward and met Minghao's lips in a tender kiss. Then he watched in horror when Wonwoo didn't stop after the first kiss, his lips kept coming back to Minghao as if it pained him to separate.

Eventually, Minghao broke the heated bout of lips, one eyebrow raised.

"Was last night not enough?”

Wonwoo leaned forward once again as he said, almost pleading, "I want to." 

Minghao pulled his head away, a frown on his forehead. "Stop." It was a single word spoken quietly, but Soonyoung could feel the anger brimming from it.

Wonwoo just stood there and looked at his husband for a while, until he said, "I'll be back." Soonyoung sighed quietly. His best friend was a poor actor, he couldn't even fake confidence.

"Then don't do that." It shocked Soonyoung to hear Minghao's voice slightly trembling. "Don't kiss me like we won't have another chance." The dancer's words sounded bitter with fear and pain. Soonyoung felt guilty.

"I'm sorry," said Wonwoo with an apologetic smile. "I tried but I can't help feeling scared." 

Minghao looked at Wonwoo with a mix of endearment and exasperation. "I have to be the brave one in this relationship, huh?”

"It's all you," said Wonwoo with a small smile. 

Minghao replied the smile with his own before pulling Wonwoo by the back of his neck and pressing their foreheads together. ‘’You will be fine.”

They stayed like that for a moment until Minghao gently pushed his husband away, saying that Soonyoung’s hair would turn white by the time Wonwoo's ready. The three of them laughed.

 

***

 

They haven't ridden far when Soonyoung noticed they were being followed. He decided to stop, making Wonwoo hastily stop his horse and gave him a confused look. 

Wonwoo's confusion turned into bewilderedness when a figure of a horse approached them. He casted a mantra and produced a floating fire, casting a light and revealing their guests. It was an elegant jet black horse, commanded by a man with equally refined aura. The man had a spear attached to his body. A spear that belonged to Bhayangkara troop.

"Jisoo," Soonyoung addressed the newcomer. 

The man, Hong Jisoo, stopped his horse in front of Soonyoung's and greeted them with that dashing smile that Soonyoung had hated since their training days.  

"You're early. What's the rush?" said Jisoo nonchalantly.

"You can report to the General. I don't care," said Soonyoung curtly. He really didn't care that his fellow troop member could tell their boss that he's abandoning his post for personal matter.

"I'm not here to drag you back and I won't tell on you," said Jisoo in an easy manner. Soonyoung must had let his disbelief showing as Jisoo laughed.

"I'm here to help you find Junhui." 

Soonyoung had always been wary of Jisoo. It's like the man triggered an alert system inside his brain, which could be counterproductive since they worked together as a team. He couldn't help but question Jisoo's motive. But he no longer questioned Jisoo after the latter continued his words.

"Jihoon asked me the other night.” 

Soonyoung felt disgusted as the word ‘’the other night” triggered a flash of image in his head: of Jihoon and Jisoo lying naked in a bed. He (and Wonwoo and Junhui) knew that their best friend was sleeping with the warrior. It was Jihoon's best kept secret. The Cabinet member had even planned on not telling his childhood friends. It took many bottles of arak (way more than Jihoon would normally consume) and the privacy of Junhui's room for Jihoon to ramble the fact. He called it ‘’the biggest mistake of his life" with a huge, sappy grin on his face. 

A glance at his childhood friend told Soonyoung that Wonwoo was also slightly put off by the implication in Jisoo's words. The researcher had always been wary of the soldier. Soonyoung was amused because normally Wonwoo wouldn't dislike people, not without legitimate reason. Wonwoo himself was bothered by the fact that his wariness was based purely on intuition. He's supposed to be a logical person, he said, despite Soonyoung trying to convince him that it's okay to be contradictory, that humans are multidimensional. (" _ You went all the way to Musi to find a rare flower for Minghao. That's not rational" "This and that are totally different things.”) _

It was different for Junhui who had harbored no ill feelings for his colleague. Bless his kind soul. Soonyoung and Wonwoo just couldn't share the sentiment, even though they had seen the (slight) improvement in Jihoon's happiness because of his secret relationship (ew).    

Soonyoung was sure that Jisoo was aware of their reluctance, but the latter only gave a charming smile (by normal standard, but looked evil in Soonyoung's eyes).

"Jihoon has arranged so officially the three of us are on a Cabinet-approved mission," Jisoo said. It made Soonyoung and Wonwoo looked at each other in disbelief.

"He--" Soonyoung sighed as he couldn't find the words to describe his feelings. He heard Wonwoo chuckled beside him.

"You love him," said Wonwoo with amusement. When Soonyoung rolled his eyes at him, Wonwoo replied with fondness,"Me too.”

"He could've told us.”

"You wouldn't talk to him.”

"He didn't talk to me either.”

"Let's thank him when we get back.” Wonwoo ended with a smile, and Soonyoung just grunted.   
  


*****

 

It was dark and Junhui thought he was dead. 

As a member of the highly trained Bhayangkara troops, Junhui was accustomed with the forest’s darkness during night operation. But this was not the forest. Surrounding him was concrete walls, so narrow he would hit them if he moved a limb (not that he could freely moved as his legs and arms were shackled).  

Only his front side was not concrete. It was steel bars. Still, beyond the bars was more concrete. Not a single opening. He's sure there's a hole somewhere, for that he could still breathe.

While adjusting to the darkness, Junhui could feel the aches from the shackles and all the prodding he experienced yesterday (or was it today?). This was not the afterlife.

It was the second time he mistakenly thought he was dead. The first was when his troop was ambushed by an army from Jaya Raharja kingdom and attacked by that--that… monster. 

It was a living nightmare. His comrades were turned into mush right before his eyes. And when  _ he _ \--no.  _ It. _ That couldn't be human, Junhui refused to believe. It came in front of Junhui and he fought it. At least he tried, with the expense of having his stomach slashed with a malicious Pajuragan spell.  

He thought it would turn him into mush before he bled to die. But when he opened his eyes, he was in a cell. It was better than this one. A lot more spacious and warm.

Over the following days, he was always dragged out of his cell to be experimented. At least five Pajuragan masters each day took turns to prod his body, charm him, make him drink potions. Sometimes they made him  _ glow _ , and the masters serious faces brightened up. But the glow never lasted more than a second. The bright faces turned into disappointed ones, and it made the masters put more determination into their experiment. 

At the end of day (probably, as Jun didn't have the measure to know the time), he was thrown back to the cell. 

One day Junhui plotted his escape. There were many times when he's not tied to a table or chair, so he lurched into a female Pajuragan master who was working on him. During his planning, Junhui had been hesitant to attack during the lady's shift. Enemy or not, women were to be respected. It's how he was raised. But the other day the lady master started to step up her game, experimenting with new tools including water. Junhui started to doubt his values.

The escape ended as an attempt and his punishment was this new cell. 

Junhui was wondering if this cell would be his new home when he saw light. It came from above, making the world brighter along with the sound of footsteps. 

He expected the male guard with lean body and big scar on the left side of his neck. This guard had been the one getting him out and in of his cell every day. When his guests showed themselves, Junhui couldn't express how surprised he was.

Two people came. One was the eldest Pajuragan master, a man who seemed to be in his 60s and acted as the leader of the ‘’Junhui Experiment.” 

None of the Pajuragan masters had visited him in his cell, but Junhui's astonishment was mainly caused by the second man. With short, slightly curly blond hair glowing under the light, beautiful face structure and undeniable charisma, the man easily stole Junhui's focus. 

He'd seen that man before. His homeland Buwana Tentrem had been in conflict with its neighboring kingdom Jaya Raharja, hundreds of years before Junhui was born. Sixty years ago the two gigantic force signed a peace treaty, ending wars and starting a more mutually beneficial relationship. New arrangements and agreements were made following the treaty. Both sides would meet at Semeru, a small region which acted as a neutral party, and discuss the details. Junhui had escorted his kingdom's officials to such meetings, and it was where he had seen the second man.

Yoon Jeonghan, one of the  _ princes _ of Jaya Raharja.

The prince’s eyes quickly scanned Junhui and his modest cell. 

"Does he have to be here?" asked Jeonghan to the Pajuragan master.

"Only for one night, my Prince," replied the master calmly. "He tried to escape.”

Jeonghan's eyebrows leaped and his eyes gleamed.

"Okay. Don't get too harsh," said Jeonghan. 

Junhui had a flash of thought: maybe the prince wasn't so bad. Maybe he'd had a better chance of getting out of here by appealing to the royal's conscience.

His hope was shattered when Jeonghan continued his words, with eyes looking straight at Junhui.

"Don't waste such a precious specimen.”

The prince left shortly later, not sparing another glance after turning on his heels. He was followed by the old master, and then once again it was dark.

Junhui closed his eyes and he saw light. Sun warmly shone over his parents, who were having a chat on a bench. There's also Wonwoo and Jihoon, running around as if they were 6. 

Under an asem tree stood Soonyoung. He gave him a wide smile and his right hand. Junhui smiled too and tried to reach his hand, but there’s a clanking sound of chains and he felt his arm pulled back. Junhui gasped, and his loved ones disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soonyoung and Junhui didn't even have one scene together lol lol lol


	2. Chapter 2

_Too many_ , thought Soonyoung as he looked at the group of sneering men in front of him. All had komodo tattoos on the visible parts of their bodies. There were ten men standing in front of Soonyoung, but that's not all. Soonyoung sensed more of them lurking beyond the trees on his left and right.

Soonyoung and Joshua had noticed that they were being tailed as soon as they entered Aria, an unclaimed region that separated the east side of Buwana Tentrem and its neighbouring kingdom, Jaya Raharja. They tried to shake their pursuers off but they couldn't be fast enough.

“The Rinca Dragons…” Soonyoung heard Wonwoo's shocked whisper behind him.

There's no one in Buwana Tentrem--or anyone on this side of the earth--who didn't know that name. Once you saw the tattoo of komodo dragon, a giant lizard standing proud with its four thick legs and tongue sticking out, you knew it's the infamous group of thieves.

Soonyoung turned to glance at Jisoo on his left, and the latter immediately moved back so he was a few meters in front of Wonwoo. There were no words needed between the two soldiers. It's a common formation in the Bhayangkara troop. Soonyoung specialized in offense while Jisoo in defense. Still, the fact that he just communicated with Hong Jisoo through eye contact creeped the hell out of him.

He heard Wonwoo shouting his name as he charged into the enemies, but didn't look back. Soonyoung couldn't risk turning his attention away from the Rinca Dragons. The thieves had already made their move. In no time Soonyoung's keris dagger clashed with a clurit, the Rinca Dragons' favorite weapon which blade curves more than half a circle.

As Soonyoung fought the thieves in front of him, he noticed the ones lurking on their right and left had come out from hiding. A beat later he heard clashing of metals, probably from Jisoo's spear and Rinca Dragons' clurit.

Soonyoung swiftly dealt with the ten thieves in front of him, knocking them down with precise stabs to their vitals. One time he was surrounded by three men at once, and almost lost his right arm when one man swung his clurit. Soonyoung moved away to stab another thief then knocking down another one.

When he was about to deal with the thief who almost took his arm, the ground beneath the latter rumbled. It was as if the earth was alive and the soil _reached out_ to the thief's leg, locking them firmly to the ground. Finally, Wonwoo realized his role in this fight and used his Pajuragan skills. Soonyoung didn't need to turn around to know that. He wasted no time to stab the trapped thief and moved on to another enemy.

While at first they seemed to have the upper hand, it had become increasingly obvious that they were losing. The Rinca Dragons were just too many. Soonyoung was forced to move back until he arrived at Jisoo's side.

“I'm running out of sesajen," said Wonwoo from behind.

Pajuragan masters used offerings called sesajen so the deities would lend their power. Sesajen could be anything from food to gold. But some deities had favorites. For example, the Earth deity loved rain water with a hint of cinnamon. Wonwoo had packed  his sesajen in leather bags and had been using them in this fight. But once he's completely run out of them, he wouldn't be able to borrow the deities' powers no matter how dilligently he performed the bimantra. Bimantra was only spell chanting to activate the sesajen.  

‘“We need to retreat," said Jisoo without losing his composure.

‘’With that many people we'll get caught again in no time," Soonyoung gritted his teeth. Ugly thoughts of never being able to find Junhui and seeing Wonwoo killed by the thieves came into Soonyoung's head. But he was an experienced warrior. He didn't let the thoughts consume him. Instead he focused on his surroundings, looking for a way out.

His eyes caught a cliff hovering near and he told his idea of making it fall upon the Rinca Dragons.

‘’The sesajen?" asked Soonyoung in haste.

Wonwoo answered with the same urgency, ‘’Only things the Earth deity hates.’’ He groaned before widening his eyes. Seemed that something clicked inside his head. Soonyoung had a hunch and he didn't like it.

‘’I can use my--”

‘’No.”

‘’Using atma is the only way.’’

Atma is the essence of life. It's the force which gives you energy and power. It's your spirit. Your soul. It could be used as an offering for the deities, but it's a very dangerous practice. Too much could damage a person. It could even kill you.

‘’It’s dangerous.”

‘’Not if I limit the usage.”

‘’Use mine." Soonyoung replied when Wonwoo insisted.

‘’You need it to fight. This is how _I_ fight,’’ said Wonwoo impatiently. It had been a while since Soonyoung saw Wonwoo being that irritated. The sight brought back a flash of very old memories.

_Not now_ , thought Soonyoung as he willed himself to focus. _Show it when I'm on the ground, bleeding to death._

‘’Make your decisions now. The Rinca Dragons aren't that patient," said Jisoo before dashing towards a bunch of Rinca Dragons who were coming at them.

Jisoo was right. They had no time to argue. But before Soonyoung could do anything about it, Wonwoo had already closed his eyes and put his hands together in front of his chest.

"Wonwoo!”

If Wonwoo had heard Soonyoung, he didn't show any signs of it. The Pajuragan master looked calm, not even a crease on his forehead as his lips moved to chant a mantra. Soonyoung could only grunt his dissatisfaction and turn around to support Jisoo.

‘’Now!" Wonwoo shouted behind them and Soonyoung jumped backwards. Jisoo jumped at the same time.

The Rinca Dragons heard Wonwoo's shout too and noticed the falling cliff. But the broken part of the cliff was too wide and it fell off too quickly, most of the thieves in the back couldn't escape it. Those who were not burried under the soil and rocks were merely 7 people. Even though they still outnumbered Soonyoung's group, it seemed that they didn't want to risk any more casualties and ran away.

But Soonyoung couldn't celebrate. He heard a loud thump and turned around to find Wonwoo falling on the ground.

 

*****

It was hell Soonyoung wished he would not experience again. The first time was when he heard Junhui's team went missing. The second was when Junhui was pronounced dead. And now he had to go through it again as he saw Wonwoo lying on the ground, motionless.

Fear consumed Soonyoung so that Jisoo could beat him on rushing towards Wonwoo's side. The spear-handler checked Wonwoo's vitals before turning to Soonyoung.

‘’He's alive.”

Soonyoung felt his legs turning into jelly because of relief, but he held on and walked towards the two.

It was terrifying to see how pale Wonwoo's face was.

‘’Stupid Wonwoo…’’ Soonyoung gritted his teeth at one of Buwana Tentrem's brightest Pajuragan masters.

They moved far enough until they almost reached the end of Aria, the unconscious Wonwoo tied to Soonyoung's back. When they stopped they set up a camp and rest there for two whole days.

Wonwoo didn't wake up on day 1. It was almost noon on day 2 when he finally opened his eyes. Soonyoung would had felt at ease if only Wonwoo hadn't woken up with distress written all over his face. The Pajuragan master was covered in sweat, and his eyes were bulging from their sockets. It took some gentle strokes to the back and a few gulps of water for Wonwoo to calm down. They let him rest again and then continued their journey the next day.

Soonyoung admitted that he wasn't as sensitive as Jihoon, as kind and attentive as Junhui, or as sharp as Wonwoo. But Soonyoung could tell. Something changed inside his childhood friend ever since the near-death experience. Before, Wonwoo would look around on his horse and comment on some exotic plants, saying how Minghao would be thrilled if he took them home. Now Wonwoo's gaze was only focused ahead and on his horse’s nape.

The reason for Wonwoo's sudden change was finally revealed when they came upon another challenge. The road they were supposed to take had been cut off completely by collapsing soil and gigantic rock. It would take a human-sized pile of sesajen to mend the road with Pajuragan; a luxury they couldn't afford.

No one suggested using atma.

There were only two alternatives: go back and take a two-weeks detour, or leave the horses and climb their way along a ravine.

Soonyoung insisted on the dangerous but fast way, while Wonwoo was adamant on the detour. They argued and it became so heated that Soonyoung raised his voice.

‘’What if Junhui can't wait? What if while we dillydally Junhui needs immediate help?”

‘’Once we slip there's no saving us! Look at it!" Wonwoo gestured to the ravine.

‘’We won't slip! Jisoo and I are trained for this and we will help you.”

‘’It's too risky, _Soonie_.”

Soonyoung winced at the sound of his nickname voiced with such anger. And like light bouncing off a mirror, the anger bounced back among them.

‘’We can't waste more time. We already lost two days when you passed out!” Soonyoung could feel guilt rolling out with each words but he couldn't help it.

Wonwoo's face hardened. ‘’I'm slowing you down.”

‘’That's not what--”

‘’I should've known. _You_ should've known. Why did you invite me anyway?”

‘’Because I need you. _Junhui_ needs you.”

‘’I can't--" Wonwoo choked on his words before continuing. ‘’I can't risk it.”

Soonyoung was so consumed by anger that he forgot Wonwoo almost died a few days ago for their mission, also the fact that Jihoon supported this.

‘’You don't care." Even Soonyoung himself was shocked by the the coldness in his own voice. ‘’You're just like Jihoon.”

The hurt on Wonwoo's face was painful to witness. It was more painful than getting stabbed with a sword.

‘’I care. I love him too! In a different way from you, but not any less!" Wonwoo let his ragged breathing calm down before continuing with softer tone. ‘’But I also love Minghao… And I can't make him sad.’’’

‘’I know that..” Soonyoung lowered his voice too. Wonwoo shook his head.

‘’I saw it.’’ Wonwoo's voice was steady but his eyes were wavering with fear. ‘’When I was… unconscious... Everyone was there and Minghao... He was cry--crying... next to my body...”

Wonwoo looked away from him after that confession, but Soonyoung couldn't avert his gaze from his childhood friend.

It felt like hours later when the silence was broken by Jisoo. The spear-handler suggested to sleep over it, and while Soonyoung thought they shouldn't waste another night, he couldn't come up with better ideas.

His sleep was nothing but restless, disturbed by a strange mixture of memories and dreams. It felt good at first. There was Jun by his side and they were sitting on their special hill in their village. But then Jun's body started to disappear. Soonyoung tried to grab him, but Jun was slipping away.

The dream ended the moment Jun vanished. Soonyoung woke up sweating all over as if he had just been running.

He thought of taking a walk to calm down, but noticed a set of eyes watching him. It was Jisoo, sitting near the fire Wonwoo lit up earlier. The blaze shone over Jisoo's smiling face. Soonyoung hated that smile, but nothing irked him more than Jisoo's gaze. Those orbs always seemed to hide something.

‘’Trouble sleeping?" Jisoo's soft voice called out to him. ‘’Have some kencur.” The spear-handler gestured to a pot beside the fire. Apparently he had made himself a herbal drink with Soonyoung's favorite ginger herb. Soonyoung couldn't say no.

Soonyoung sat on Jisoo's right and poured hot kencur into his drinking pouch. Just one gulp and the warmth spread all over his body. He felt his body going less tense.

With calmer heart he looked over the fire to where Wonwoo slept. His childhood friend bundled himself with his own coat until he was wrapped thightly. Nothing visible except his face from the nose and above. Soonyoung smiled at the sight, but it turned sad as he recalled their fight earlier.

‘’I didn't mean it. When I said he didn't care.” Soonyoung knew that he should say it to Wonwoo, not Jisoo. But he needed to let it out now to calm the turmoil inside his chest.

‘’He knows." Jisoo simply said. It irritated Soonyoung that Jisoo talked as if he understood Wonwoo more than him, the childhood friend. But Soonyoung also knew that Jisoo was right.

‘’Humans… We have too many precious things… Not enough power to protect them all," continued Jisoo. His gaze was directed to the fire, but from the side Soonyoung could see that it no longer had that mask. That something in those brown orb which always hid secrets. This was the real Jisoo talking. The hint of raw sadness in his eyes told Soonyoung so.

‘’Who will you choose?" Somehow Soonyoung was intrigued. ‘’If you had one chance to save only one.’’

Jisoo turned his gaze towards Soonyoung. His eyes showed a bit of surprise and curiosity.

‘’Would you choose Jihoon?”

With Soonyoung's question, the mysterious veil covered Jisoo's eyes. Those orbs were no longer open and honest. They were back to hiding secrets. And with the smile that Soonyoung hated so much, Jisoo spoke without words.

_Who knows?_

 

****  


When the first ray of light came through the foliage, Soonyoung had made up his mind. He told Wonwoo to go home with Jisoo, and declared that he would continue this journey alone.

Wonwoo immediately rejected the idea. Soonyoung didn't expect it, but wasn't actually surprised. It had been that way since they were little. Just like the time the 7-year-old Wonwoo took the blame for Mrs. Lee's ripped tablecloth, instead of telling the truth and let Soonyoung and Junhui get punished. Wonwoo had always been thoughtful of his friends.

_Minghao will scold me if I go back without you_ , the Pajuragan master said before marching forward to the dangerous road ahead. Soonyoung watched his back with fondness before following his steps.

Their journey through the rocky ravine was not easy, but fortunately uneventful. They arrived safely at the other end and continued on a kinder route. Soonyoung began to feel more optimistic.

But when they arrived at the river where the bodies were found, hope started to diminished. They spent three whole days searching west of the river, the area which wasn't examined by the investigation team, and yet found nothing. The fact brought a huge blow to Soonyoung, he even started to hope finding bits of flesh or pieces of clothes. Anything.

On the fourth day, Soonyoung suggested to expand their search area.

‘’Going further west would be meaningless,’’ said Jisoo. ‘’You know no one can survive in such harsh terrain.”

‘’We have to make sure," Soonyoung gritted his teeth.

‘’I have to agree with Jisoo," voiced Wonwoo. He flinched when Soonyoung glared, but stayed with his opinion.

Desperate, Soonyoung suggested an alternative.

‘’Jaya Raharja." Soonyoung ignored Wonwoo's raised eyebrows and continued. ‘’He might have gone to get help. It makes sense.”

“Then why haven't we heard from him?" His best friend replied. “Or from the authorities who got him?"

“Our countries aren't exactly in the best of terms. Maybe he was forbidden to send messages.”

“Yes, Buwana Tentrem and Jaya Raharja’s relationship have been tense. Which is exactly why we can't barge into their territory without permission.”

“They don't have to know.”

This time Wonwoo paused to send Soonyoung a mix of bewildered and tired look. “You're a Bhayangkara. You know what it means. What the consequences are.”

Soonyoung stayed quiet after that. He knew. He understood that illegal entry to their neighbouring kingdom would cause an issue with the interkingdom relation. Especially that they were two Bhayangkara soldiers and a Pajuragan master. They could be accused of spying.

After running through the implications of his proposal, Soonyoung managed to calm down.

“We'll send a message back home. Ask for introduction letter. In the meantime we wait.’’

Wonwoo looked relieved at the return of Soonyoung's sanity. He patted Soonyoung's left shoulder and gave a reassuring smile. Soonyoung playfully brushed off Wonwoo's hand and they both laughed at it.

The laughter didn't last long as Soonyoung heard the sound of horses coming near. He glanced at Jisoo and both had their hands on their weapons, ready to defend themselves in case the guests turned out to be enemies.

When the horses came into sight, Soonyoung almost doubted his eyes. Never had he expected to see Jihoon, right here, kilometers away from the capital. His childhood friend rode with 5 soldiers, whom all Soonyoung recognized despite belonging to a different troop. There's also one man Soonyoung didn’t know, but judging from his bearings and the large bags on his horse, Soonyoung bet the man was a Pajuragan master carrying enough sesajen for a battle.

Jihoon gave Soonyoung a tired smile when his horse stopped in front of him. Soonyoung replied with a smirk.

“Rough trip?”

Jihoon answered with a snort.

‘’Jihoon… Master Kinu…’’ Wonwoo looked at Jihoon and the Pajuragan master with confusion in his eyes.

“There's been a development.’’ Jihoon’s face hardened when he spoke. “We could find the answers in Jaya Raharja.”

“We were just about to send you a message and ask for entry!” Wonwoo said with cheer. “What a great coincidence.”

“Yes." Jihoon's answer was short and stiff. Soonyoung was about to address it, but Jisoo's laughter came from behind him.

“A government official must know how to put on a mask, Jihoon." Jisoo's voice was filled with glee.

Meanwhile Jihoon stared at Jisoo with a cold gaze. Soonyoung couldn't believe what he saw.

“You shouldn't let on that you know," continued Jisoo. His words somehow made Jihoon's soldiers moved into combat stance.

“Wha--?" Wonwoo uttered in confusion before Soonyoung pulled him to the side, so that now they no longer had their backs on Jisoo. Soonyoung was yet to understand the circumstances, but he knew that he couldn't trust Jisoo.

“There's no need for violence." Jihoon finally said. It made Jisoo let out another laughter.

“If I follow you obediently, would you spare me prison and take me to your bed?"

Soonyoung witnessed the coldness in Jihoon's eyes turned into pain. It hurt Soonyoung to see that.

Ignoring Jisoo's words, Jihoon spoke, “Hong Jisoo, alias Hongo Shuji, you are arrested on suspicion of relaying Buwana Tentrem's confidential information to outsiders, amongst other charges. You will be brought to trial.”

While Wonwoo looked startled, Jisoo kept his composure.

“Well, I'm afraid I cannot attend the trial. I have important business to take care of.”

What happened after that was too fast for Soonyoung to register. A quiver of arrows came at them like pouring rain. It was so sudden that even Soonyoung barely had any time to run over to Wonwoo and drag him to safety. Horses were screeching and soldier were shouting. When Soonyoung looked up, he saw Master Kinu falling near his panicked horse, arrow stabbing right at the man's heart.

When the rain of arrows stopped, Soonyoung barely had time to take action since the ground started to _explode_ around them, blasting off rocks and pieces of the earth, and also the people standing on top. Soonyoung couldn't even curse at the enemy, who had probably brought some powerful and sesajen-filled Pajuragan masters into this ambush. And where was Jihoon? He wasn't near Master Kinu's body so was he safe?

All Soonyoung was sure of was that he got Wonwoo, so he focused on getting his best friend out to safety first. He grabbed Wonwoo's right arm and ran towards the trees.

But before the stepped into the shadows of the trees, the ground exploded between them, throwing the two friends to the opposite sides. Soonyoung was quick to get back on his feet and turned around. He was too late, however, to stop a giant rock as big as a horse cart from hitting the ground, completely hiding Wonwoo's figure.

The painful wail that torn the air told Soonyoung that Wonwoo was still alive, but it did nothing to soothe his heavy heart. He ran and saw Jihoon, having abandoned his horse, also running towards Wonwoo.

They both arrived to see Wonwoo lying on his chest, screaming from the pain traveling from his right arm, which was now lost between the giant rock and the ground. Soonyoung almost lost his balance at the terrifying sight.

“We need to get him out of here!" Jihoon yelled, sounding more scared than Soonyoung had ever known in the 20 plus years they were friends.

Soonyoung stared at Wonwoo's right arm, which was visible only until before the elbow. He knew that there was no way he and Jihoon could move the giant rock, and could only think of one solution. His stomach twisted at the thought.

“Wonwoo, we need to--”

“It's useless now anyway! Do it!" screamed Wonwoo between his wailing. And so Soonyoung pulled out his keris blade, then swang it towards Wonwoo.

Wonwoo let out one last cry before he went silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit rushed but I hope it's okay.


End file.
